#BookReview: If I Stopped Haunting You by Colby Wilkens

AMAZON

ABOUT THIS BOOK:

An enemies to lovers romance with a spooky twist where two feuding writers end up on a writers retreat together at a haunted castle in Scotland

It's been months since horror author Penelope Skinner threw a book at Neil Storm. But he was so infuriating, with his sparkling green eyes and his bestselling horror novels that claimed to break Native stereotypes. And now she’s a publishing pariah and hasn’t been able to write a word since. So when her friend invites her on a too-good-to-be-true writers retreat in a supposedly haunted Scottish castle, she seizes the opportunity. Of course, some things really are too good to be true.

Neil wants nothing less than to be trapped in a castle with the frustratingly adorable woman who threw a book at him. She drew blood! Worse still, she unleashed a serious case of self-doubt! Neil is terrified to write another bestselling “book without a soul,” as Pen called it. All Neil wants is to find inspiration, while completely avoiding her.

But as the retreat begins, Pen and Neil are stunned to find themselves trapped in a real-life ghost story. Even more horrifying, they’re stuck together and a truly shocking (extremely hot) almost-kiss has left them rethinking their feelings, and… maybe they shouldn’t have been enemies at all? But if they can’t stop the ghosts pursuing them, they may never have the chance to find out.

Full of spooky chills and even more sexy thrills, If I Stopped Haunting You by Colby Wilkens is the funny, fast-paced romp romance readers have been waiting for!

RAITING: ⭐⭐

REVIEW: To be frank; I hated this book. It was so disappointing to realize that, but I did. What makes it the most disappointing, I think, is that the premise sounds so great and intriguing and it completely fails to deliver on any of that. Penelope Skinner is an indigenous writer from the US that has managed to publish a singular book that also managed to accurately reflect her ideals to her satisfaction, but that few people seem to have actually read. Neil Storm is an indigenous writer from the US who has managed to write and publish many books that don’t reflect Penelope’s ideals (or, we find out later, his own), but is a best-selling author. At a panel for indigenous writers, Neil asks Penelope a question, to which she responds snarkily (so far so good). When Neil responds with bewilderment and snark of his own, chaos ensues. Again, so far so good. His fans begin booing her off the stage, which is pretty standard misogynist behavior that we’ve all seen when a woman dares to open her mouth in criticism of a man, so pretty believable. Then, Penelope decides to deal with this by using her stunning and eloquent writer powers to craft a narrative that lets everyone know how wrong and sexist they are and really makes everyone think.

Just kidding! She throws a book at Neil’s head, causing him to bleed a whole bunch and giving him a visible scar on his face. Four months later, they get invited to a writing retreat at a haunted castle in Scotland, forced proximity, yadda yadda yadda and oh look, they’re boning now. And sometimes there’s ghosts! Yay?
Except, not yay, because in that yadda yadda yadda, Penelope is so effing mean to Neil! I honestly could not stand her character and that’s what ruined the book for me. I am all for more unlikable female characters, but you can tell reading this that you are supposed to like her and she is the worst. I hate those people that are always like, “iF a MaN dId ThAt, WoMeN wOuLd StRiNg HiM uP!” and the like, but for real! If this book started off with Neil launching a book at Penelope’s head because he was mad at her (even if it was because he felt her book was sexist and stereotyped their collective background for a white audience), I would hate Neil forever and never feel bad about it. And then, if he kept whining the rest of the next hundred pages about how she ruined his life, I’d laugh so hard that it would hurt and tell everyone how dumb he was.
This, as you may have guessed, is exactly what Penelope does for the next third of the book. She even throws some (more) actual, physical violence in there because she keeps shoving him in the chest every time she gets mad at him, which is frequently! I honestly could not stand how nice Neil was being to her, either, after she was so terrible to him. I know that art doesn’t have to reflect reality, but it’s pretty obvious from the beginning that Neil has zero self esteem which is further beaten down by what I’m comfortable calling an abusive partner. I ended up just wanting to jump in the book and save Neil from Penelope and she is the main character we’re supposed to be rooting for.

The other parts were just boring. The dialogue was boring, the storyline was boring, Laszlo was boring and even the ghosts were boring. The whole thing was just a mess and I wouldn’t recommend it to anybody. I’m giving it an extra star because at least from a grammatical and narrative perspective, it’s well-written, but I really did not like it.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that Neil needs therapy. If I Stopped Haunting You comes out October 15 and is available for preorder now.

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Posted in: 2 Stars, Adult, JessicaL., Netgalley, Review, St. Martin's Griffin