Wes: Boys, this is your captain speaking. I want every member of the team to join me in congratulating Nash and Lars, who are selling their bodies to raise money for charity. Nash brought in 7k for a night with a cougar, and Lars brought in 10k from a supermodel. Enjoy those dates, guys – and update all of us here.
Boone: I hated to miss that auction but I had to. How much of a cougar are we talking? Is Nash’s date at a nursing home?
Nash: No dude, maybe like 50 and she’s hot.
Beau: Dude, cringe. My mom is 50.
Nash: Is she hot? Can I get her number?
Beau: FU
Drew: Lars is going out with an actual supermodel?
Wes: Yep, Sheridan Lee ...
Ross: Holy shit! She paid 10 large to go out with Lars??
Lars: What is a supermodel?
Nash: It’s a generous person who spends an evening with a total dipshit to benefit charity.
Lars: I just Googled her. She’s more famous than me.
Ross: Dude, she’s way way more famous than you. More famous than any of us. She has a clothing line or something and she makes the lists of wealthiest women in the world.
Lars: She could have paid more than $10,000 then.
Nash: You’re lucky she paid anything at all for you. Put some duct tape over your mouth and the date will go great.
Lars: You’re just jealous.
Nash: Nah, cuz I know you’ll blow it. You’ll make some stupid comment and then wonder why she doesn’t like you.
Wes: Check in here after the dates, both of you. Let’s see who ends up with a second date.
Lars: Okay.
Nash: Deal.
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