She found Russell at the dining room table with a headset on as he stared at a tablet screen. His sleeves were rolled up and the top two buttons of his dress shirt were undone. He hunched his shoulders as if he had the weight of the world on them. She leaned against the counter in the open kitchen and watched him, waiting to see if he said anything useful.
“If you’re going to lurk, you might as well come sit down.”
She jumped at the sound of Russell’s stern voice but straightened and joined him at the table. “I wasn’t lurking. I was lost in thought. Is Dale alive?”
He nodded. “Thank God for small miracles. I lost one man, and another was injured, but Dale got the rest of the team to a safe place.”
She put her head down on the table. “I’m fucking exhausted but the idea of sleep just sounds horrific.”
Russell laid a hand on her shoulder. “Have you been sleeping at all?”
Matthew had asked a similar question days ago, and the answer was still the same. “Not really. I keep seeing every horrible thing that’s happened in the last few weeks every time I close my eyes.”
“If you were mine, I would give you something else to focus on. Like my whip.”
Gemma sucked in a sharp breath. “You do not know how wonderful that sounds.”
He quirked one eyebrow up. “Are you telling me you’re a masochist, Gemma?”
She bit her lip as she raised her head to look directly at him. “I am. For a long time, whenever I was having a rough week, I’d go to Serendipity in London and let someone put me into sub space with intense play. Usually impact play but I’ve done other things too.”
He folded his arms and gazed at her. “If you’ve talked to any of the subs at Solitaire, you know I’m a sadist. Why haven’t you said anything whenever I’ve threatened you with pain before?”
She shrugged. “At the point that you started rejecting any notions of us playing together, I figured there wasn’t a reason to tell you. If you weren’t so God damned stubborn about the fact that I’m legally married, you might have discovered this before.”
“Watch your tone, young lady.”
She stuck her tongue out at him, not caring if he made idle threats anymore.
He opened his mouth as if to scold her again when his tablet started ringing.
“Saved by the bell, Gemma. This is Lance.”
“Want me to leave?”
He shook his head as he adjusted his headset and tapped on the screen.
Gemma couldn’t make out what Lance was saying through Russell’s headphones, so she kicked her feet into the chair opposite her and listened to Russell’s half of the conversation. She hated not being able to hear Lance’s side.
“Thanks, Lance. Send me everything you have. I’ll update you when I decide where we’re going next.”
“We can’t stay here?” Gemma asked when he pulled the headset off.
“Apartments are a nightmare on so many levels for protection. There are some upsides, but they don’t outweigh the downsides. I’ll probably move us to my compound.”
She scrunched her brows together and wrinkled her nose. Skepticism filled her voice.
“Like religious cult compound out in the middle of the woods?”
He chuckled. “It’s a state-of-the-art facility. And no religion unless you count cock worship.”
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