I swallow my nerves like I’ve done nearly every moment of
this provocative and exhausting day so far, and it’s only just past noon.
“I’m not sure about anything, anymore. I don’t even know who
I am, right now. All I know is that I am tired of making the wrong decisions.
Tomorrow, I may feel differently about my choices being taken away from me. But
today, the erotic feeling that is swirling around inside of me, wreaking havoc
on my body is my driving force. Outside of that, I don’t have enough energy to
care about anything else.”
Who is this person inside of my head making me speak
these terrifying words? I feel like I am having an out of body
experience and I don’t know whether or not I should fight my way back in, or
pop some popcorn and see how this all plays out.
I look at The Beast who seems to be desperately trying to
prove to me that he is more than what his nickname implies.
“You’ll hold your feelings in higher regard by the time I’m
finished with you. You’ll see exactly how exhilarating it is to leave your fate
in the hands of the person entrusted with your care.”
His promise comes across as a threat, yet it stokes the fire
that is still burning bright within me.
“Yes, Sir.”
“Walk to the door and wait for me. I need to go talk to
Master Luca for a second and I’ll be right there.”
I stand in response to his instruction and my conscience
screams at me to wake up and realize what is happening. But I’ve already
checked out of reality for the day. At some point between the time that I woke
up this morning and now, I managed to lose my Goddamn mind.
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