I nod and
open the passenger door, reaching down to grab the strap of my purse.
I blink
when he gets out too.
“What are
you doing?” I ask, my voice sharp because I’m confused.
“I’m
walking you to the door. Do you have a problem with that?”
“But why?”
“Why not?”
I don’t
have an answer to the question. And since he didn’t give me an answer, I feel
like I don’t have to give one to him either.
But I’m
shuddering with something like excitement as we reach the front stoop of my
grandmother’s house. I stop and stare up at him.
He’s gazing
down at me with that same deep, warm expression I saw in him earlier.
Right
before he kissed me.
“Why are
you doing this, Marcus?” My voice breaks slightly because I’m pulsing with
everything I’m feeling.
“I’m just
standing at your door.”
“You know
what I’m talking about.”
He nods,
his mouth relaxing slightly. “I’m doing it because I want to kiss you again,
and I think you want that too.”
I lick my
lips. He sees it. His expression heats up.
It thrills
me so much I quickly get my tongue back into my mouth and swallow hard. “I
don’t know, Marcus. I don’t usually do things… just for fun.”
“I know you
don’t. But I keep telling you that you’re allowed. Kissing me would be fun for
you. And for me. It doesn’t have to mean anything more. It doesn’t have to
change anything important about your world. So why shouldn’t we do it again?”
“Because…
because I think it would… If we do it again, we’re going to do more than kiss.”
He chuckles
softly and reaches up to brush some hair back from my face. “Yes. We probably
will.”
“And you
think that can be just for fun? No… no… pressure or complications?” I can’t
believe I’m even considering no-strings-attached sex, but that’s exactly what
I’m doing.
That’s what
Marcus is offering.
And I want
it so much.
“Yes. I
think so. If that’s what you want.”
“That’s all
it could be between us. For obvious reasons.”
He gives a
slight nod. “Yes.”
This
confirms a tiny, lingering question I’d never even acknowledged. And it makes
things so much safer.
Safe enough
for me to let myself be tempted for real.
After all,
sex with Marcus is going to be good. I know it for sure. And if I can enjoy
it—have some fun—in a way that both of us agree will lead to nothing disruptive
to my life, why the hell shouldn’t I?
Why can’t I
be like everyone else and just let go now and then?
It doesn’t
have to threaten the security of my world.
I really
think I could let go with Marcus and still be safe.
He confirms
this by saying in a more serious tone, “I’m here for anything you want,
Jennifer. Anything. Just name it. But if it’s not what you want, all you
have to do is tell me, and I’ll never make a move on you again.”
I gulp. “I…
do want it.”
“Yeah?” He
tilts his head down.
“Yeah.”
“So you
want to try to have a little fun and see what happens?”
Somehow
I’ve made up my mind. I’ve decided. Everything inside me wants to do this, so
I’m going to do it after all. “Yeah. That’s what I want.”
His eyes smolder
in a way that makes my heart clench.
And other
parts of me clench as well.
“So I can
kiss you again?”
I nod.
“Please do.”
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